If I can be unhappy and still go through with this tedious homework, then there will be no other times in which I could not do this thing, for I would never be this unhappy and find it as difficult as this again. Can I conclude this thought before I even found out about it Continue reading

Only when it’s summer do I miss summer, only when K. is here do I miss K. Who’s me through their eyes, the presence of presences, which are only presences of more people… Each exist within another; one must penetrate them. The inner penetration of the self with the self, others with others, all together Continue reading

where r u. abbreviations remind me of Cummings and Debussy. Or short forms. Debussy and Cummings. Saturday off work, how good it feels when the sun is still blistering. I’m thinking about autumn–the warm shades pressed under sleep. I’m lying on the sofa, thinking about nothing in particular but only the grass, the sun, the Continue reading

Suddenly, I’ve grown nostalgic for everything… the birds, trees, sun, faces, laughters, rain, nights, and mornings that are so early that look like evenings. Continue reading

Botanist. Warm day. ‘We’ll take it from here’ Home. K. … Continue reading

Debussy, 12 Etudes. #4. When will I finish? Prob the end of this year. Noon. Walk at lighthouse park. Drizzling dizzy. Sap from big secreting trees. Home. Movie: Veteran. Dinner: fried rice. Nothing interesting. Extremely thirsty at night. But oh, how warm the night feels, I must go somewhere and stay late till night, because Continue reading

20. 10 years ago, I remember that I had a diary, and I wrote something in it. This was when i turned ten. Now, I’m twenty, and it’s strange, because I have passed another ten years which would’ve been my whole life again ten years ago, but it’s really only half, as of now, that Continue reading

Must not oversleep. Took the dog up the mountain–a trail led me somewhere. I was going in, penetrating… it was warm and wet–the woods. I took my walk slowly as the shades cooled the scorching sun. Then, I realized that I had ended up where I was two years ago… the park, alone, where it Continue reading

Masayoshi. Oh too yum. Too much yum to digest. Don’t know if I’ve digested at all. Masa too funny, humorous, fun. I want to open a dreamy place like Masa’s. Oh but I’m torn between being a writer and chef. I don’t know which one to choose. But the dreamy atmosphere of both places… Continue reading

in three days… in three days I will be 20. In 20 days, I will be three… in three days, i will definitely be 20. I will definitely, irrevocably be 20. I will be reduced to 20, the thought of 20 reduces me to 20, where is 20 when I scraped my knee against the Continue reading