YuHeng's blog

What do I want.

I don’t know

I’d have to quantify.

both certainty and uncertainty.

ie. 100% sure

or to just have no room for doubt

but how much room is no room

as in, 10%, 69%, 0.99999%, etc.?

I don’t know.

Do i need a number, an absolute, an answer?

No.

oh hey

So I do know what I want.

I know that I don’t need an answer

that a nothingness precedes my knowing

that from the negative, the shadow, I know something

that nothing is for nothing itself

because an underlying permutation

reverses, moving the shadows

that are more than shadows themselves

Am I then what I am not? For example, i am the fact that I do not know what I want to do just yet. If I do not know, then I can only rely on what I do know. And I know what I don’t know. But is the reverse true? As in… I am not what I know, since I am not just what I want to do? Yes! The negative does not reduce me, because it assumes anything, whether objects, shadows or whatever… In short, they overlap each other. The shades sheath on shades. The negative is not just about seeing the other side of the affirmative, but seeing that there is an other side. Where does the river flow but from the other side. To think of the shadow is to think of the cause of luminencese, but also of the negative… for it is the light. It reverses because it produces. Or rather, it reproduces. It reproduces because it reborns through the hidden network of uncovered relation and permutation. It grows because it synethsizes live, sentient neurons, extending like the roots of a plant. The clearer something is, the heavier is it’s shadow.