YuHeng's blog

happiness is a warm gun

Color and non-colour. 
I can think of neither of them.
Non-colour is also just a colour.
Why?
Because it necessitates the property of colour, of its absence.
I have to think of colour when thinking of non-colour.
An echo.
A paradox. 

But that is just for colour.
The sole structural property between the polarities--that is, within the object.
The object of colour.
But what if I took it upon other objects? 
Beyond the micro level and projected onto a macro level. 
For example, mud. 
The structural property would be that of softness and firmness.
But the macro level of objects would be that of, say, a rock and water. 
But is mud the synthesis of those two objects, since it is both soft and hard?
Yet, water too, can be soft or hard. 
And so can glass, which is the solidified form of a melted, hard object--namely, sand, soda ash, and limestone. 
An object within an object. 
So, we cannot project one object onto the other. 
The unexplainable sum of phenomenon and relation, which goes on and on, derives each order from a lower order, synthesizing the thesis with its antithesis, preceding its previous order. 
Structural properties fall apart when the objects of which they are a part do not unify or correspond. 
e.g. Water is both soft and hard. 
Mud can both soften and harden.
And rock... how many objects preceded it? 
The mere scope of "macro" and "micro" is not enough. 
Sometimes from the reverse order, you see what works and what doesn't. Maybe sometimes, to see things the other way around is to see the whole thing. 

And so for happiness...

well, today was happy but also sad.  
How can I be both at once. 
Well, a sadness runs beneath a happy river. 
Most of all, it was warm too. 
Like a warm gun...
20c. 
Then for dinner: very unctuous and oily beef. 
All just for 50 dollars. 
But it was too smooth and fatty and warm and voluptuous and buttery.
And it felt like a gun.
It could all end now.