YuHeng's blog

My fingers smell of oil, onion and garlic. Wok. Smoke… smells like my grandma, malingers and sleeps.

One thing but with different forms. A singular assumes many, permeating under one… shadow. An object, possessing varying angles. A bed to use Plato’s example. A car, a face, etc. Objects equate to object. Here, the singular manifests… from an origin, a place. I am not one but many. I hold within myself, others. But then… through others, I have consciousness. Back to Hegel.

But further back to Kant. To reduce knowledge. Not so much about consciousness, but the knowing and extent of such knowledge, of reducing them into judgements: a priori and a posteriori. Or even a priori synthetic judgements. This is possible with the injection of space and time… the inevitable conditions for consciousness in the first place.

I will forge a way out. Some way. A way for sure.

there shouldn’t be so much thinking… actually no, only assumptions. No there really shouldn’t be so much assumptions. Not at all and everything is fun… like the same theme played over and over again. Reverse. in variations. Like Goldberg. For someone who could not sleep, burdened by insomnia. A king.

i have no ways around this

i doubt i’d have any soon

i’d have some soon

I wouldn’t have any soon

but soon

soon I’d have some

I’d have any some time soon

And I’d want things no other way. I’d want things no other way. And when next year, when I return here, I’d want things no other way, other than the way that it is now, so that now, there is no other way that I’d like things to be. It is all ok, because all my desire is predicated upon now, and now, I have changed all former things to become another now–a future–such that it is no longer the now to which my desire referred, but the gaze that it could not see. I have no reason to project that ‘now’ onto the future, which is the now. So, why would I be troubled. I have no reason to anymore. I just need to know that there is a future, because it will go on anyhow. And its not within my control to prevent the happening of the future. And if so, then I could not prevent the prospect of hope, of change. Why then, should I stagnate over this moment. Even any importance that I attach to it now is nothing but a… present, temporary stagnation.

i want to do things that I can’t do. I don’t want to do things that I can do. I want to do nothing… that I can do. I want to do the negation of things. The things which assume what I can do. I want to do nothing.

I also want to think nothing. Same for all other… spheres of being.