YuHeng's blog

School is getting harder, not by its workload but by its engagement with other things that has nothing to do with school, by its extension into the real world, whatever that means. It’s not just school anymore, everything is becoming real. more and more real. Work, people… future… The extension of people, like the root of a tree, a foundation from which one derives more people. The production of people, a shadow, a copy–connections…the loss of origins. Oh, the labyrinth of solitude. When did this relationship begin to matter to me? Friends, acquaintances. The people I have to know to know more people, and some that I’m only acquainted with for the sake of more people, more productions. The plethora of people consumes me, subdues the I , forgotten. I become people. There is no difference. The sum of relations among people constitute me, as a part of them is constituted of me. People estranged in a strange world. My friends are becoming like strangers. Strangers are becoming like friends. What do I have to lose? All and nothing at once. I am me and not me. The lack of differentiation stands between me. I have nothing to lose.

I’ve become more agitated in the past year, and much more so in the past two years. Am I more aware of entering the real world, of penetrating its thousand permutations of facts.

Oh how much less dreamy I’ve become. To daydream with the object, the poem, the thought…

Be gentle be nice to a puppy.