“It’s not a problem. It has been a problem all along. I won’t tell you that it is not. Because it is. It’s a manifestation of what was not solved before, and it will creep up on me again if I don’t solve it. So it goes. The problem doesn’t just go away like that. Continue reading

Things that occupy my mind: Memory Love Mirrors Shadows Doubles Dreams Illusions Reality Nature of illusions Expansion Confusion Anger Images Abstraction Present Past Time (surprisingly not space) Forgetfulness Warmth The colour blue Whiteness Shades Agony Softness Sincerity Boredom numbness Streets Things that glow Buddism “other” “I” Longing, which is different from desire. Longing has a Continue reading

There’s a kind of loneliness that no one and nothing can help you diminish. It creeps on you like a slug and the day slows to a deepening agony. You have no where to go. The softness of this illusion soothes you; and you won’t even get out or try to because it is dark Continue reading

“I believe in cleansing the soul through fun and games” Continue reading

A very good day. I feel that I am here. I mean that I am here. Now. Something about that soothes me. To forge on. To penetrate the layers of meaning. One would say, it is to forget. But that’s not the case. It is to remember. It is to let go. To possess by Continue reading

Sometimes I’m dumbed down by emotions, by a continuous spontaneity that resumes the consciousness of many consciences. I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself well, but I just mean to say, when will the last drop of abstraction overflow the cup. Continue reading

Having to compare and contrast the past with a present that continuously regresses. When can I escape? These buddhist… one forgets. I have had a long day. I can’t remember how long. It was long. It was insidiously long. I want to think nothing of it. To think of nothing. Nothing that has to do Continue reading

Women of noon, voluptuous sun, the nothingness of emptiness, emptied of the weight of the hair… sinks. Continue reading

It’s been almost a year since I met K, or so I think. I don’t doubt that I was happy then, and that I still am. I believe in many things: in drunkenness, in the kinds of dreams that daylight doesn’t reveal. An illusion is not the same as a dream. An illusion lingers, it Continue reading

Today is a new day. I think it’s going to be weird. I have to take it easy. Someone tells me that it is just a day and that there’s nothing new about it. But something is new. I know that something is new. I don’t know what it is, but I know something is Continue reading